Well! I posted one of our emails to my blog yesterday. I feel like this could be the start of something big 🙂 maybe it was just cuz I dared to do it? Maybe cuz I took time for Me and did something for My Life? Dunno. But I’m seeing another aspect of putting me at the head of my own line…
I came to realize that I was using Al-Anon and my activities to give me something To Do, to keep me busy so I don’t go stark raving madd. And because I was using my gifts and talents, doing something near and dear to my heart, it felt like it’s what I wanted to be doing. Wowzer. I’m thinkin that might not be true. Whaat? And I wonder that that’s one of the gifts of getting involved with a task I didn’t want to do – Alateen Coordinator. I can handle the other service positions, almost in my sleep but the Alateen one is running me ragged. Nope, my feelings about the job I’m doing as the Alateen Coordinator are running me ragged. I think I’m being a slug, but the feedback I’m getting is, Oh! Thank you so much for your Service! You’re wonderful!! Eek. There’s a wee bit of a disconnect there I’m thinkin that I’m not giving the job my all. I can feel my resentments or hear the dragging of feet in my mind and heart. It’s for sure my heart’s not in it, and maybe that’s the greatest gift of all. For me to finally see once and for all that if my heart is not in something, then I’m no longer able to bully my way thru it! Hey! That’s great stuff! You’re a genius 🤓
Yes. That make so much sense. I used to bully me horribly, my entire life. And now, today, that is no longer acceptable. Deep sigh. Jesus that feels like a huge breath of fresh air.
Ya know something else? I’m noticing that as long as I talk to You in this email, my thoughts flow. But the minute I think about posting what I’m writing, I get disjointed. I immediately disconnect from the train of thought and I can feel my mind going away. How should I word that? I need to give the background on this. That’s not clear. Does this sound stupid. Yea team 🙂
Right at the end of the day yesterday, I got an email from my Sponsor saying she’d be free to Skype last night, did I wanna play. Yea team, you betcha! Why am I telling you this? Oh crap, I forgot. Oh yea! I was sharing my experience with not having a Chair from the District for the Convention subcommittee, filling her in on the history of the mess, trying to figure out my part in all of it. And she gave me some really good feedback on an idea I’d had so I’m gunna move forward with it. It’s a wee bit radical, but what the hey right? Eek. I’ll let ya know how I make out.
Ya know that reading I had on Sunday? One of the things that warms my heart and serves as solid confirmation for me: I’d had a number of readings years ago from my friend Jane in England and she’d described my soul as the color peachie pinkish, very unique, had never really seen that color before. And on Sunday Jill said just about the same exact thing: very unique, never really seen that color before, kinda like a pinkish salmon color. Pretty neat, huh? I did get to listen to the tape again and I’d like to listen at least one more time for now to make some notes so we shall see.
I’m very much interested in the leakie gut probiotics segment of getting healthy. Between Jill’s comments and what I know of good bacteria versus bad, I’ve been pondering the whole thing. Her program is $250 so I’ve opted to buy two of the books she’d used as a basis for that segment of her program for now. Kinda like $25 instead of $250 for now, ya know? Plus I’m really getting the feeling that I’m supposed to be creating My Program, or My Programs now. I smiled to myself the other day cuz I get an idea and the first thing I do is dive into a gazillion books. And so, we shall see. But the other side of that is, I ended up watching this like hour long commercial thingie last night on Facebook on probiotics. I knew they were selling something and as it turns out, it was a particular probiotic. I thought long and hard before I ordered some, the 60 day money back guarantee sealed the deal for me, so they’re on their way as we speak. Ya know one of the things I learned that makes me so delighted is I’d always heard that ‘alcohol turns to sugar in your body’ and that that’s what wreaks havoc with yeast, like it feeds it big time and really screws up your body on a gazillion levels. As it turns out, alcohol kills the good bacteria in the gut so the bad bacteria, yeast, really runs rampant. Ya know that accounts for achie joints too?? Wow, huh? I guess I already knew that but hadn’t really put it together before. And leakie gut? I thought that was some sort of stomach horror where everything you own falls out your navel. As it turns out, it’s just how the yeast runs rampant throughout your body and affects all your organs and body systems – foggie brain, achie joints, sluggish tired ughfull.
Anywho, enough on the body basics for now, just found it all rather fascinating is all… And I guess what I really found fascinating was how God steps in the moment I get the least bit clear on anything, Anything. I’m determined to let my body live in supreme health – without DIEt and Exercise at the core and now I’m watching all sorts of wonderful stuff march into my world for me to peruse and make mine. I have an idea on how to do the Al-Anon program different this year and the first two people who hear about it lovit. Oh yea! And another one!! When I heard that Al-Anon is no longer sending free copies of The Forum to the groups, my first thought was to suggest our groups buy their own subscription. Then remembering our legacies program where our District purchased hard copies of How Al-Anon Works for all the local libraries, the thought came to me – our District could buy a subscription to The Forum to each of the libraries as well! I thought it was a great idea but at the District meeting, they came from caution or fear and decided that we needed to ask first. Ugh. Ok fine. So someone stepped up to go ask and we got back the most delightful YES! from the library staff. Is that awesome or what!! Yee haw all over the place 🤓
Ok darlin girl, I’m outta here! Got a hot date with the rest of my day. Know you are dearly loved.
All my love, Lis